Host families are a nightmare. Or at least that’s what I’d heard from friends and acquaintances who’d had negative experiences in the past. Thankfully, my experience in Ecuador has been overwhelmingly positive. My host mom is muy cariñosa (very loving), while my dad is super laid back and seems to know a little about everything. My new brothers are in what I call the “fun age” (i.e. 7-12 years old) where they are very open and curious about most things.
Although in some ways my families in the US and Ecuador are similar, the differences are numerous. I’ve gone from being the youngest to the oldest “child”, my extended family lives less than a 5 minute walk away and hugs and kisses abound. It’s been an adjustment, but Iittle things have helped to smooth the transition. After doing some reflection, here are 4 things that have helped me feel at home with my new family.
1. Hugs and Kisses
Hellos and goodbyes are kind of a big deal. Almost every time I leave the house, come home or go to sleep it’s preceded or followed by una cortesía (a polite expression to acknowledge whoever is in the room), hug and/or light kiss on the cheek. If one of my brothers forgets to do so, my parents are quick to call them on it. While the custom isn’t the norm with my immediate family in the US, I like it. It reminds me of summers visiting extending family in the South as a kid. Moreover, it’s been a simple yet effective way to blend in.
2. Asking Questions
A lot of times I try to use intuition to navigate unfamiliar situations. Not knowing your way around a new place makes you vulnerable, so the idea of having to reach out to people I don’t know (and the attention that comes with it) makes me uneasy. Nevertheless, I’ve made a point to put that aside and be more intentional about asking questions about day to day things annnd (drum roll) it’s paid off! It’s been a great way to start some interesting conversations and learn cultural nuances that I may not have learned otherwise. Beyond that it shows interest and has encouraged my family to share other gems about Ecuador and build rapport.
3. Thinking Fast
Confession– witty banter is not one of my talents. If one of my friends is ragging on me, I’m the person who comes up with a comeback 20 minutes too late. If someone asks me an uncomfortable question, the feeling is written all over my face. Based on past experience and word of mouth, I figured I’d get some questions I wasn’t used to receiving from people I was still getting to know (ex. How much my personal belongings cost, what was my salary in the US, etc). In my head, I just had to decide which things I was and wasn’t okay with sharing. For anything in the no category, it’s been a matter of finding a polite/humorous way to decline and change the subject.
4. Self-care
If anything, managing my time has been the biggest challenge during Pre-Service Training (PST). As an introvert and working adult used to living on my own, I knew training would entail sacrificing a good chunk of my independence. Between 8 hour training days, learning my around and getting to know my host family, it’s been easy to forget to take care of myself. When I stopped pressuring myself to go on every errand and family outing, things became much more manageable. While PST is certainly about pushing yourself to be open and try new things, it’s also important to set boundaries and take personal time when you need it. El equilibrio es la clave (balance is key).
As training goes along, we’re learning more about Ecuador and what service as a health volunteer will entail. Although I’m excited to see what lies ahead, by the end of training I know I’m going to have a hard time say goodbye to my new family!
Other Posts You May Like:
The Little Things: Ecuador Edition
Zero Degrees Latitude 
Really great to read your views and reflections on this new experience you’re going on kern:)
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